Every relationship has a cycle. In the
beginning, you fall in love. You anticipate their call and want their touch.
Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and
spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called
"falling" in love...because, it's happening to you.
People in love sometimes say, "I
was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It
implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something
came along and happened to you.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive
and spontaneous experience. But after a while, the euphoria of love fades. It's
the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, their
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
You then will notice a difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage. At this point, people may blame their other and look outside
their relationship for fulfillment. People sometimes turn to work, church, a
hobby, and of course, friendships.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT
lie outside the relationship. It lies within. You can't say you
couldn't fall in love with someone else. You probably could. And temporarily
you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation again.
Because: The key to succeeding in
a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the
person you found.
Sustaining love is not a passive or
spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't
"find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day
out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because
it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You
have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a
mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your other) to
succeed with your relationship... and of all relationships, your marriage.
Love in relationships is indeed a "decision”...not just
a "feeling."
