Sacrifices

To what extent do you need to sacrifice for love?

Sacrifice is a very powerful word. It could make or break a relationship or a person. But as you love, sacrifices will always be there. You will never learn how to love unconditionally unless you learn how to sacrifice.

We had our first fight. Arguments were thrown and tears were shed. This was not the usual fight we had before. This was different. We were different. We were mature enough to handle the situation. We still had our differences but we were able to compromise this time. Love entails sacrifices. And now, we were on the ball to do these sacrifices as a couple.

I am happy how this day ended.

I chose to love! And I am happy about it!

@ 27

Turning 27 was something I’m not excited about. I hate aging! Haha! I don’t like it when people ask me about my age. I know it’s just a number but for me, age equates responsibilities. At this stage, I need to start fixing myself…. my life. I need to be more serious about everything now. I’m not getting any younger. There’s still more dreams to reach, more goals to achieve.

Last year was not a great year for me. The year started so bad. It ended, still with tears in my eyes. There were problems that were not solved, so many unanswered questions, failed hopes and shattered dreams, friendships and hearts broken. Every scar leaves a mark, it was hard for me then. I’m not trying to find the answers to all my questions anymore. All I want to think about is the present, what I have now. You have control of everything that’s happening to you. That’s what I’ve learned. You can choose how to live. Choose your life, and then live it!

2009 has taught me a lot of things, how to be a stronger person, how to love myself more, how to value the people who loves me and cares for me, how forget the past and deal with the future. Dwelling with your past will not do you any good. It would just bring back pain and remorse. You don’t need any of that in your life. I have a journal of the things I’ve learned and will be learning as I journey through life. I plan to share this to my kids as they grow up. I hope that this will help them to be tough kids like me. Tough times don’t always last, but tough people do.

As the year ends, I was excited about the coming year. I know 2010 will be a great year for me. Having a great perspective in life, a loving family and supportive friends, I know I’ll be great! I thought of having resolutions this year. I’m making a promise to myself to fulfill all of these before the year ends. I plan to become a better person this time. And I hope, I’ll do better in life this time too.

=========================================================

1. Be closer to God.
2. Love myself more and love life.
3. Spend more time with my family and friends.
4. Spend wisely! Save more! No impulse buying this year.
5. Make time to do things that I love like reading, dancing and lomo-ing. =)
6. Find a new hobby (swimming or boxing).

One Last Dance

I decided to take it, one last time.
No questions.
No promises.
No false hopes.

Just me, being happy.
Letting fate write my own love story.

I’m going to have this one last dance with love again.

Bucket List # 4: Hairless!

Every woman's dream! ♥
I didn't think I can have summer perfect skin.
Thanks to Belo! Now, I'm flawlessly hairless!

Who is she?

One night, she was a different person. Someone told her that she has changed. She did! She’s been hurt, things happen and she was lonely. People change because of those things. She was never alone but she always feels like she is. You can never judge a person by that. She was hurt and she needs to move on.

This is her, moving on.
Living her life as her own.
She needs to be free.
No one owns her now.
These are part of who she is right now.

Bucket List # 3: Tattoo

Ever since my dad had his Joker tattoo in his forearm, I’ve been wanting to have my own skin art. I do not have an exact design that time though but it’s been on my mind ever since. I envy those who have the courage to ink their bodies. They say it’s so painful that’s why I’m having doubts at first. I’m scared of needles. Hahaha! Until I saw Angelina Jolie’s tattoos. Damn! I want the chant in her left shoulder blade written in Khmer script, the language of Cambodia. It was a prayer to protect her Cambodian adopted son. From afar, it looks like a bar code. That’s the reason why I liked it. And now, I want one on my back as well. I want the prayer for serenity and the passage from Psalm chapter 6. I’m still choosing between the two. So I think I won’t be having this one anytime soon. It’s quite big, I’ll start with something small first.

A friend of mine told me about having my tattoo personalized. To think of why I want to put a certain design on my body. It’s going to be permanent so why not have it my way. It makes sense! Having a tattoo that you can call your own, your own idea and perspective. No duplicates! The Light Grenades album cover caught my eye that day; it was my favorite band’s album, Incubus. It was a heart with an eye inside a grenade. It was so emo, so me!! Haha! Then I thought of having a tattoo on my ankle, an emo heart. But it has so many meanings to it. So, I started thinking why I wanted that. Then I remembered a saying about Love. “Love is not blind, it sees but it doesn’t mind”. That’s how I love. I give it all without asking something in return. Even if I do not get the results I wanted, I still choose to love. Even if it’s painful. Then I told myself, this one, I’ll have it personalized.

I went to Cebu recently and there was a famous tattoo artist in the City of Talisay, Ian Cabrido. I paid him a visit. I told myself that if he is really that great and he can give me a design of my emo heart, then I’ll have my 1st skin art done. I told him the story about my heart. I want people to see love and pain and hope when they see my emo heart. And here it is. A bleeding and hopeful and loving heart. With this, I know I can love again no matter how many times I get hurt.

Artist: Ian Cabrido
November 13, 2009
Talisay City, Cebu

Start Over

I started this year being alone. Right now, I’m ending it the same way. Damn! What’s with 2009? Hahaha! I can’t help but laugh. This year was like a rollercoaster ride for me. I’ve been to both extremes, happiness and loneliness. But I have a good feeling that the coming year will be awesome! I can’t wait for it to happen!

This time, it’s going to be about me!

Happiness is a choice and right now, I chose to be happy!
No more drama!
Just fun!

Lie

Sometimes, lying is easier than telling the truth. Knowing that you will hurt someone by being honest tends to complicate things and feelings. It confuses people. If you were to choose, what would you do?

Be honest and know that you will hurt someone? Or…
Just lie and pretend things didn’t happen?