Monday, December 3, 2012


Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fall in love. You anticipate their call and want their touch. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...because, it's happening to you.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened to you.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a while, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, their idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

You then will notice a difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, people may blame their other and look outside their relationship for fulfillment. People sometimes turn to work, church, a hobby, and of course, friendships.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside the relationship. It lies within. You can't say you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You probably could. And temporarily you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation again.

Because: The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your relationship work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your other) to succeed with your relationship... and of all relationships, your marriage.

Love in relationships is indeed a "decision”...not just a "feeling."

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