somebody

somebody misses your smile
reassuring, kind and sincere
the touch of your hand
the sound of your voice
the comfort of knowing you're near

somebody misses the magic of the wonderful things you do
the secrets you hold
the dreams you reveal
the way you make wishes come true...

somebody waits for tomorrow
another closer day
to when the hoping is ended,
the wishing is over
and somebody holds you again.

08.03.07

make it or break it

Sometimes you ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing or not. We’ll never know unless we try, right? It’s better to do something now rather than let it slip away and regret what you could’ve done. I gave up so many things already, gave up so many times for so many reasons, and I regret it… always! Sometimes I was given a chance to get it back and make things right for me but most often than not, I lose. I know there are times that I was reluctant to trust him. But the truth is, he’s been so honest with me more than anyone has been. And I really feel sorry for feeling that way. It’s sad that it has come to this. That we’re both hurting so much because of the things we couldn’t control. But I still believe that we can still make it because we’re still together. We’re in this together! Some people might not like it that we are but there’s still hope in my heart that eventually they will accept what we have. People can easily judge a person. I do that sometimes, and it doesn’t do me any good. I’ve learned so many things for the past month. And one of them is giving. If you want someone to be happy, give them what they want. Set them free, if needed. You can’t ask a person to stay if he/she doesn’t want to. That’s being unfair not just to the other person but to yourself as well. Everything’s not just about you. There’s a whole world out there that cares about you and watches you fall down so hard. So don’t be afraid to be alone. You’ll never be. Somewhere, someday, there would be someone who’ll fit into your world and who will accept you. It may not be a perfect world, but I assure you, it’ll be worth it. I’m living my life now as if it was my last day. I wanted to make things right this time. I don’t want to worry about the past nor the future. I just want to be happy, and make sure that all the people around me are happy. So I say, make it! I know I can!

10.06.2007

9 mornings

Re-posting. This was created last December of 2007. I just love this entry and it sucks that I do not have a blog site back then, i just have multiply!! Boo!!!

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At last, I was able to finish this year’s Misa de Gallo. My first, ever! I was able to hear mass for 9 mornings in San Roque Parish Church (4:30AM) & Holy Family Chapel (5:30AM). Guess what? I was able to wake up in the middle of the night during weekends. Hahaha… I missed the famous puto bumbong, bibingka and hot chocolate. Damn! I gained weight! =P

Most Filipinos believe that if you were able to complete these and you make a wish, it’ll come true. I do not believe in that. Well, I used to but I didn’t complete these Misa de Gallo for just one wish. I was guilty for not being able to hear mass for the past couple of months. I think I owe HIM this one. I’ve been through a lot this year and sometimes, I just wanted to be alone. During those times, I talk to Him. Asking what my life would’ve been if I made different decisions in life. Then I realized, in every decisions I made, He was there, no matter what. He was there to guide me and support me in everything I do. So, whatever path I chose to go to, I know I'll be okay, I'll be fine because I have Him with me.

In our borrowed lives, we have to stop looking for something we can’t have. We should start accepting what was given to us. STOP COMPLAINING! Be thankful and enjoy our blessings. In every decisions we make, we just have to remember that we have to do what we think is best for us and the people around us. We also need to trust Him in directing our lives. He knows best, right?

And now, I am trying to live what I’ve learned from this experience. Start over.

I hope next year’s going to be a good year for me. I’m turning 25 now! Quarter of a century? Doesn’t sound good to me, and I hate it. I don’t feel like celebrating my birthday but I’ll surely have dinner with my family and have some get together nights with my closest friends. I’ll hear mass of course on my big day! I am excited and scared at the same time because I know this means more responsibilities for me so, more decision-making also. But...

... I’ll be fine, I know I will. I have to. =P

one day

It’s a great feeling to see you happy. But it breaks my heart to know that you can’t share your happiness with me.

Can you?

Maybe you will…

One day...

Someday…

will you? can you?

Solitude…
Agony…
Hate…

All these things, we endure when we give up the one person we truly cared about. Being alone was never really an option when we’re in love. The feeling or just the thought of being in love was probably the happiest and most unexplainable feeling in the world. Sometimes we do not know why we’re in love or why we love. Sometimes we can list down countless reasons why we love someone. But when the time comes that you have no choice but to give up, to let go… Will you? Can you?

Most of us tend to be selfish when it comes to love. We only think of what can make us happy, what’s the best for us. But we’re wrong. Loving is not just about ourselves, it’s about the other person --- the person you care for, the person you trust, the person who makes you laugh, the person who wakes you up in the morning with a smile, the person who kisses you without warning, the person who brings you chocolates when you’re stressed at work, the person who hugs you after an argument, the person you’re proud having in your life, the most honest person you know, the person who can easily make you smile for not doing anything, the only person who calls you boo / babs / bebs / brads (or what have you), the person you truly love.

Yes! Yes! And yes! It’s all about him!!!

When you love, it’s aptly to think about yourself first before getting into a relationship or even in getting out of one. But what if he just loves you because of what you can give to him, would you still battle in his heart?

Can he love you for the things that you cannot give?
… Would that be enough for him?

What if he’s not happy anymore?
… Would you still fight for it?

Would you let go to see him happy instead and lose the fight?


11.13.2008