Love lost... Love found...

In life, you only have two choices, to live with the past or to live and plan the future. The present is where we make your decision. The time where you let go and stick with your choice.

Most of the time, you hold on to past memories, good or bad. Hanging on to good memories makes it feel better, you feel alive. Grieving, in most cases, helps you to move on. The past is called the past because you cannot bring it to your future. You have to learn to forgive and to let go. We all know it’s not easy to let go but in time, someone will help you move on. Someone will heal all those pain and make you smile again. Someone will bring hope to your life again. And then you will realize that it’s time to let go. That’s the time you live to the future.

You may have lost love but I'm sure you will find one again someday.

Swing it!

Today marks the healthy life that I am going to live. Uhmm….. No, no, no! Not today, by Monday! Hahaha! I will be having another tooth surgery and I plan to eat everything that I want, anything that my taste buds are craving for. Chocolates, chips, ice cream, cakes, burgers, fries, crispy pata!!! I still have 3 more days and there’s more to eat!

After that, healthy lifestyle, here I come! I bought a new toy in line with this new lifestyle I want to live… An 8kg Kettlebell from a very good friend, Yvarr dela Cruz, who is also a certified PKC (Philippine Kettlebell Club) trainer. I was able to try KB a few months back and I was able to enjoy it. The cardio and all that weight lifting to tone your body. It’s a full body workout, really! I plan to attend a few more workshops with Yvarr or some other PKC trainer to be able to master the proper posture and usage of my KB. I want to name him but I can’t think of any right now. All I want is to lose weight since all my pants cannot fit me anymore! Damn it! I will update you once I baptized him already! Will have a name before I make my first swing! ;)

Cute and Sweet

While inside the church yesterday, a super cute boy caught my attention. He was with her mom. They came late to hear mass and sat in front of us. At the back of my head I was thinking, “Naku, mag-iingay na naman ‘to!” Most kids inside the church just play around and make noises, especially the toddlers, they cry a lot. Not sure why some parents bring a 1 or 2 year old baby inside the church. They don’t even understand what’s happening. Some adult ones just hear mass also for the sake of saying they go to the church every week. But you see them chatting with friends or playing with their phones.

But first time ever, I saw this kid sitting and kneeling and singing with his mom. I think he’s around 6-8 years old already. He’s so sweet and cute! He doesn’t want to sit in the chair. He wants to sit in his mom’s lap all the time. He even closes his eyes while singing “Ama Namin.” Then it hit me! I want a baby boy! Before, it doesn’t matter if my first born will be a girl or a boy. But after seeing the love of this kid to her mom, I want a baby boy already! A super cute, loveable, sweet baby boy! I will teach him how to play basketball, play the guitar and do some crazy stuff with me! I don’t have a brother so I want another man in my life, aside from my dad and soon-to-be-husband (if I get married). Hahaha!

Imagine you’ll have a cute and sweet kid like this one, what more can you ask for?

PostSecret: Getting Married

Since most of my friends are getting married, I want to ask them this…..

Are you more excited in planning the wedding than getting married?

Some women love the idea of getting married. But once they step into the real world or marriage, they easily give up, they want out. Too late to realize that there’s no easy way out. After all the time exhausted in planning, all the money spent on the church, hotels, caterer, gowns, flowers and all. Suddenly, the planning was just the happy part. Living as a married couple is not. It’s more challenging that picking what flowers to use for the entourage. Looking for a place to live is difficult than find a hotel or restaurant for the wedding reception. Dealing with your neighbors is way more exhausting than choosing your entourage. At one point, marriage was not as fun as planning it.

But you swore to stay together through thick and thin. You promised to stay together until death. It’s your obligation to stay married and work on your marriage as long as you live. This goes to all husbands and wives (not just the wives). So, to all my friends out there, marriage is not a game. You say your “I DO’s” because you want to die with that person. Remember your promise to God, to yourself, to your partner and to the world. Stay with your partner and work on your marriage!

Growing up!

Sorry, I’ve been busy lately. Busy with not so important stuff. So, there are so many things that happened to me for the past few weeks… or should I say months? :D I had a lot of thinking to do, with my life, my career and family as well. There are some changes in our house lately, still manageable but I can’t help but be worried at times. But I know my dad will take care of it. He’s best at taking care of this family. My life is getting better now, with love, career, friends and family.

I went to Hong Kong again this year and traveled to Macau as well. This time, I was able to appreciate the country more. I love everything about Hong Kong. There’s nothing much to see in Macau though, this city is just for shopping and gambling.

Hong Kong is different. The bridges, the train, the shopping center, the parks and streets. It was different from Manila. If I were to live somewhere else, Hong Kong will be on top of my list. Visiting this country for the 2nd time made me think about my career. If I really want to put up my own business, I need to work somewhere else to save money and get back to open a business here. Should I leave? I started to live alone 2 years ago but still, I’m still in Manila. I go home on weekends to be with my family. But if I were to leave the country, can I still live on my own? Far away from my family, friends and loved ones? This is a big decision for me. I’m not getting any younger. I’m turning 28 in a few months and I really need to think of my future already. Time to grow up, lady!

Wishing Well

Having one wish is hard. We ask for more! One is never enough.

If you’re going to ask me, what I need right now is peace of mind. Peace of mind in order to know what’s right and wrong for me. Peace of mind to learn how to love unconditionally. Loving someone because of what they are and what they can provide is difficult. But loving and accepting yourself, what you can do and what you cannot is another story.

Taken at Mactan City, Cebu

If you’ll be granted one wish, what would it be?

PostSecret: Figure It Out

It’s all about me. I have to figure it out myself, what I really want in life, not somebody else. And that’s what makes it difficult. Up until now, I have no definite plans yet for my future. And that scares the hell out of me. Seems like I don’t know myself anymore. So many things have happened, things have changed and there’s no turning back now. This is what I am now.

I have to figure it out on my own. Whatever it is!

Hopefully, soon!

PostSecret: Spiders

Just sharing.....

I'm thinking of sharing some posts that I love from PostSecret once in a while. And some shots also from my lomo babies just so you're still on track with what's going on with my life. How's that sound?

Here's one! Do you sleep naked? Hmmm...

"I'm afraid to sleep naked because spiders might crawl into my vajayjay."

PostSecret

When I'm worn out from my daily routine, I read PostSecret. It relaxes my mind and it makes me laugh, all the time. Sometimes, I get to think about some of the post there. Most of the time, I can relate to them. It's funny how people get to experience the same thing as you. And then you always say, you're alone. C'mon! You'll never be alone. You just chose to be alone. Life can be so complicated but there will be always that someone who's life is more complicated than yours.

I've always wanted to have my own PostSecret book. I will have one, not soon, but it will be in my top 10 list of to do's before I leave this world. Be ready for it. It might get published!

Bucket List # 5: Sailing

Sailing was one of my dreams when I was a kid. I used to love those triangular sheets flowing into the ocean like a toy boat. Last weekend, I was able to go sailing with my family. It was awesome! It could be more awesome though if I knew how to swim and just dive from the rear of the boat. But I guess that’s not going to happen even in my 2nd attempt to sail again. Hahahaha! I need to work on my swimming skills some more. But that was not the best part of the cruise, it was being able to free my mind while we coast the big ocean of Subic. It was surreal! It’s like my brain suddenly shuts off. I can’t think of anything at all. I was able to forget the worries of the world for a while. All I can think of is how amazing life can be. It gave me a new perspective in life. Like worrying no more about simple things that hurts you. Making life simple by understanding others, loving the people around you. Life is better that way. Let other people hate you, don’t hate them. As long as you do not hurt anyone, then I guess life will be good to you.

Missing Someone

Not all the time, you’ll be able to spend time with someone. There’s should be a time to be independent. Learn to live life on your own. Learn new things on your own.

Today is that time for me. I’ll use this time to learn new things about myself. This will me my “me” time. I rarely have this chance so; I’ll make the most out of it. Once this is over, I’ll go back to being the “busy me”. Hahaha! Not that it’s a bad thing but it just feels good sometimes to free your mind with all the worries at work and with life.

The best thing about this is missing that special someone when they took some time off. The moment you feel their arms around you when they hug you again. The kisses after fews days apart. Feels like the first kiss again. *blush*

This will be the first time that I’ll be positive about this set-up. No more arguments, no issues, no more hang ups and the most important thing is, no more doubts. This relationship is based not just on love but on trust as well. I’m really happy that things are working out so great for us.

Thank you, Lord! You’ve been so patent and good to me!

Truth Sucks

The moment I opened my mouth, I ruined everything!

Every time I speak up, I speak the truth. The truth about how I feel and see things. I do not see anything wrong with that. I made it clear that I was not picking up a fight. I was just sharing how I feel. I guess, sometimes, it’s better to keep my mouth shut than be screwed by my own honesty.

That sucks!!!

Life

Life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean you have to be miserable. Franklin Covey once said that 10% of the things that happen to you, you cannot control. But the remaining 90%, that can still make a difference. The way you feel, the way you think, the way you act and respond to each situation, it matters! It makes a difference!

True Love

True love is a decision.

A decision to take a chance with somebody.

To give to somebody without worrying whether they'll give anything back, or if they're going to hurt you, or if they really are the one.

It’s a choice you have to make.

Second Chance

Life is filled with so much uncertainty that second chances are so rare.
So when second chance comes your way......
.......make sure you make the most out of it.

Life Happens

Sharing with you an insight from a good friend......

Life happens when you least expect it to, the kind that hits you at your blind spot on an idle day.

Life happens…and when it does, the Higher Being reminds you that it is He is ultimately in control.

Life happens – that’s all there is to it, it is what it is.

Life happens and when it does, what will you do?

Reach Out!

I was able to spend a few days off from work and from real life. I went to Beijing to explore some of the wonders of the country. The places were amazing! I was able to see their oldest temples, the tombs of the emperors, their factories of jewelries/stones, the great wall and their traditional tea houses. It was a great experience to know their history and understand their culture. But, aside from these experiences, I hate to say that some of the local Chinese people there are so rude. I had a horrible experience with them. I don’t like them! But there are still few good Chinese people left, just a few. Like our guide, Memory Ma. He was the kindest tour guide I’ve had so far.

When I was in Beijing, I enjoyed the time away from all my worries in Manila. No work for me there. Wohoo! In Beijing, I was nobody. Nobody cares about what I wear, what I look like, who I’m with and what I do with my life. The great thing about my trip was being able to spend a few days with myself. My time away made me realize how important it is to value the people who truly care about me. When I wake up in the morning, I’m always excited to check my phone. It was nice to read some text messages from people that means a lot to you. And for that, I promised myself to spend equal amount of time with each of my lovely friends when I get back. And today, I will start one, or two. Hehe! Buffet dinner, here we come!!

In order to keep a few good friends, you have to make them stay with you. They say that true friends never leave your side. But if you keep ignoring them and just believe that they will never leave, you’re wrong. Eventually, they will leave you. Sometimes, most of us forget about our friends because of some selfish reasons. Keeping in touch is not that difficult with the modern technology that we have right now. Reach out, never forget and always catch up with them. You don’t have to tell them the whole story of your life, just the good and memorable ones.

Reach out and keep a friend!

When You Lose Control

When I was alone, I felt that my world was falling apart. I failed in love, I lost some of my good friends, and I’m still fighting about this feeling of what the hell to do with my life. I lost control of myself. I did some stuff that I wish I didn’t. I was trying to save myself.

I met new friends along the way. Some of them stayed, some of them were gone now, and the others didn’t really matter. I have learned so many things from my past. Although I regret some of the actions I took, but all of those things made me a stronger person. I took the risk and I failed…. But I learned!

People can still change. I can still change. This year, I plan to re-create myself. With my family and friends, the people who love me, the people who stayed and will stay with me, with them I know I can do better this time, in life and in love.

When you lose control, you lose yourself too. There’s only one way to find yourself again, create yourself on your own. Be the best person you can be. Life is about taking chances, taking risks. So, take it!!! Love the people around you and let them feel how much they mean to you. Never expect, choose to be happy, choose to love and always pray to God for guidance.

I’m taking this leap again. I will jump, take control and be my own destiny.

Sacrifices

To what extent do you need to sacrifice for love?

Sacrifice is a very powerful word. It could make or break a relationship or a person. But as you love, sacrifices will always be there. You will never learn how to love unconditionally unless you learn how to sacrifice.

We had our first fight. Arguments were thrown and tears were shed. This was not the usual fight we had before. This was different. We were different. We were mature enough to handle the situation. We still had our differences but we were able to compromise this time. Love entails sacrifices. And now, we were on the ball to do these sacrifices as a couple.

I am happy how this day ended.

I chose to love! And I am happy about it!

@ 27

Turning 27 was something I’m not excited about. I hate aging! Haha! I don’t like it when people ask me about my age. I know it’s just a number but for me, age equates responsibilities. At this stage, I need to start fixing myself…. my life. I need to be more serious about everything now. I’m not getting any younger. There’s still more dreams to reach, more goals to achieve.

Last year was not a great year for me. The year started so bad. It ended, still with tears in my eyes. There were problems that were not solved, so many unanswered questions, failed hopes and shattered dreams, friendships and hearts broken. Every scar leaves a mark, it was hard for me then. I’m not trying to find the answers to all my questions anymore. All I want to think about is the present, what I have now. You have control of everything that’s happening to you. That’s what I’ve learned. You can choose how to live. Choose your life, and then live it!

2009 has taught me a lot of things, how to be a stronger person, how to love myself more, how to value the people who loves me and cares for me, how forget the past and deal with the future. Dwelling with your past will not do you any good. It would just bring back pain and remorse. You don’t need any of that in your life. I have a journal of the things I’ve learned and will be learning as I journey through life. I plan to share this to my kids as they grow up. I hope that this will help them to be tough kids like me. Tough times don’t always last, but tough people do.

As the year ends, I was excited about the coming year. I know 2010 will be a great year for me. Having a great perspective in life, a loving family and supportive friends, I know I’ll be great! I thought of having resolutions this year. I’m making a promise to myself to fulfill all of these before the year ends. I plan to become a better person this time. And I hope, I’ll do better in life this time too.

=========================================================

1. Be closer to God.
2. Love myself more and love life.
3. Spend more time with my family and friends.
4. Spend wisely! Save more! No impulse buying this year.
5. Make time to do things that I love like reading, dancing and lomo-ing. =)
6. Find a new hobby (swimming or boxing).

One Last Dance

I decided to take it, one last time.
No questions.
No promises.
No false hopes.

Just me, being happy.
Letting fate write my own love story.

I’m going to have this one last dance with love again.

Bucket List # 4: Hairless!

Every woman's dream! ♥
I didn't think I can have summer perfect skin.
Thanks to Belo! Now, I'm flawlessly hairless!

Who is she?

One night, she was a different person. Someone told her that she has changed. She did! She’s been hurt, things happen and she was lonely. People change because of those things. She was never alone but she always feels like she is. You can never judge a person by that. She was hurt and she needs to move on.

This is her, moving on.
Living her life as her own.
She needs to be free.
No one owns her now.
These are part of who she is right now.